Hi guys. Today I'm writing a little lifestyle post for you guys, since I think some of you can use it. It's about being yourself. Of course everyone is different but I just wanted to write a little post and talk to you guys about it, because after all, who can really say they are who they want to be these days? We're living in a world where society is telling you what to do, how to dress, how to feel, how to behave, how to look. There is such a pressure on us that it's really hard to be yourself in a world where everyone is constantly trying to change you. When being "different" (I prefer calling it "being yourself") some people will actually treat you like you're weird and mentally ill. I've been accused of it too.What?!
A lot of times people say "don't care what everyone thinks, be who you want to be", but when you actually do they will turn your back on you. I have always loved pin-up girls, vintage ladies, but it was only a few months ago I started acting and dressing like one. Yes, I've had some rough times too. Not that I was bullied at school, it was just annoying, whenever I would do victory rolls or pin-up bangs, some of the guys (immature really) would pull my hair so that my hairdo would be ruined and all the pins I had been putting in there all morning would be lost. Whenever I put a bandana in my hair they would do thesame and it hurt, not only because they refused to accept me, also because they always pulled more hair than bandana really.
I would even get asked "why can't you act normal, like everyone else?"Who can tell you what normal is? Society? I don't want to be like everyone else and I refused to be like everyone else. I just dressed how I wanted, acted how I wanted and did my hair how I wanted. After all, I'm never going to see these people again after high school and I don't want to regret the good years I've waisted because of fear. Fear of people who really aren't worth telling me how I should be. I think that's one of the biggest problems these days - the pressure.
But those people are never going to be a part of my life, they're not a part of my future. I am. I don't live to please them, I live to please me, because how can I ever become happy if I can't even be who I want to be and do what I want to do?
I still do get a lot of comments on my looks and questions like "why are you dressing vintage, are you living in the past?"
No. I just do it because I like it. I just do it because I want it.
I do it because I believe the 1950's were really happy times, better times than now actually. People would be happier, kids would obey their parents, divorces didn't seem to exist...
I do it because I can be myself that way, because I love expressing myself that way.
And after a while I actually found people who could accept that. I got comments from people, but positive ones this time. People who like my style and think it's adorable and amazing. People who like the way I did my hair. People who love my passion for girls like Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Jane Russel, Gene Tierney, Lana Turner, Jane Mansfield, Elizabeth Taylor, Sophia Lauren and so on...
It makes me feel good and it makes me very proud. Dyeing my hair red, putting on eyeliner and red lipstick and pulling vintage dresses out of my closet have put a smile on my face and a sparkle in my eye that I wouldn't have had if I gave up on what I really believed in.
I'm not going to lie, sometimes I'm still insecure, but who isn't? Everyone has those days or those moments. I'm glad I already got this far without giving up. It took me some time to get there and it took me courage but after all I think it was worth the "struggle".
A little bit of a longer post today, I know, but I hope I helped some of you with it because I know I needed support in the beginning as well.
The first steps are always the hardest, I believe in myself more now then I ever did. I hope you guys don't have to deal with people like I have when you're struggeling with who you are and who you want to be. All I can say is: go for it.
At the end of the day, if it turns out not to be your cup of tea, you can always change back.
Makeup comes off, clothes come off and if you did something crazy with your hair you can still dye it or grow it again - and try something that you think might fit you better.